If I ever decide to run away and join the circus, it will have to be as a lion tamer or a tightrope walker because as a juggler, I stink. In life we all have to juggle and try to keep a few balls in the air. For the most part, life had been pretty kind and sent the balls to me easily, gently tossing one at a time and allowing me time to adjust before throwing the next one. Grown-up job...wait a few years...get married!...wait a couple of years...have a baby (awww!).... But then life started throwing faster. And harder. My husband's death...catch...moving...catch...caring for my terminally ill mother-in-law...catch...getting married again (yea!)...catch...new job...catch...two tweenagers...catch 2! Pretty soon the balls weren't individual parts anymore. They became one big oval blur as one didn't have time to leave my left hand before another was tossed from the right. Faster and faster. And then they started to hit the floor.
First was my brand new house. So now I'm not up for the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval for...well, housekeeping. And Yard of the Month has not called to place their sign in my yard. BAM - those balls hit the floor. And gone are the days when "fitness instructor" defined me. BAM. I also know I'm not up for "New Wife of the Year" - apparently I'm harder to live with than I thought. BAM.
But I was clinging hard to the hope of being named "Mom of the Year" or Downtown Church's "Employee of the Year". At least until two weeks ago. That was when in one day alone, I made BOTH children cry. They are not toddlers - their tears are hard to come by. But I managed to make it happen. BAM. And then after a series of frustrating, unproductive days at work due to my lack of technological skills, I felt like hanging up my Mac and taking order at McDonalds. BAM.
But miraculously...last week, I sent out an e-newsletter, learned to embed videos on the website and produced a multi-page worship bulletin all while planning a BBQ dinner after worship. Since I'm the ONLY employee at Downtown Church, I may still have a shot at that award.
This week I empowered my daughter to make some strategic decisions on her own. And I did a good job fixing her hair for the first day of school. I've also learned my son's positions on B-Team football and mopped his brow while he was sick. So maybe I'm still a pretty good Mom.
And yesterday, my husband cleaned up the kitchen without being asked AND I remembered to thank him. Still not gonna' win New Wife of the Year, but it's progress.
So instead of juggling ALL of them at the same time, maybe I'll just pick one up at a time. Give it my full attention. Hold it tenderly and gently. And most importantly, leave it alone when it's time for something else.