CHARTY | What Not to Wear

There are many reasonable questions one might ask about the Charty on Friday night.

The name itself is mysterious. Where did it come from? Who thought it was a good idea to combine the words charter and party?

The preacher is Baptist. Who invited a Baptist preacher to a Presbyterian Charty? Will he ruin the night with an impromptu alter call or try to scare the mild-mannered Presbyterians with too much talk about the temperature in hell? Are these stereotypes applicable or am I just being lazy with my assumptions? No and Yes.

The potential list of questions is long, but I’ll stop there because the only thing that people appear to be curious about is what they should wear?

Since we’ve never cared what you wear to church, it seems appropriate to maintain the policy for Friday night. I’m using the Charty to finally buy a proper suit, but I’m not wearing a tie, and will likely switch out my church shoes for sparkling all-white Puma sneakers after worship. Traction on the dance floor is critical for the array of new dance of moves I plan to unveil.

Clearly, I’m not the one to ask for Charty fashion tips. Nevertheless, I can tell you that if you choose to ignore any of the five simple suggestions below, you will be privately mocked.

  1. For men - a scarf after you are officially inside the building.
  2. For men and women - sneakers with dark soles that will leave scuff marks on the dance floor. We’d like to get our deposit back.
  3. For men and women - Costumes that require extensive explanations. The baseline for a laugh is lower in religious settings. Still taking advantage of these low expectations on a night intended to highlight the church is selfish. An example might be surgical scrubs. As in, “Ha ha, we’re witnessing the birth of a church so I thought I’d come prepared.”
  4. For men - A Kangol hat turned backwards. There are only a few men in the world that can pull off this look. None of them go to DOWNTOWN CHURCH.
  5. For men and women - Ignore all of the above, except #3. It’s not a costume party, so come as yourself.